Why Do I Worry About How People Perceive Me?
Published March 1st, 2023 by Sabah V.
So often in life we look at others to tell us how to feel. We want to be surrounded by others and feel included. The thought of being abandoned by our tribe is a grand fear for many.
“It never ceases to amaze me. We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own”
– Marcus Aurelius
Prehistoric Application
The truth is our brains have not evolved very much from our distant ancestors. Thousands of years ago, belonging to a certain group meant a higher chance of survival. Belonging to a tribe offered you resources, food, mating partners, protection and more.
It made sense that you would want to belong to a group, no one wants to be left to fend for themselves and die. But the truth is, although our brains are operating on old firmware, our lives are completely different.’
Nowadays, you don’t need to belong to a group for survival.
The Truth
Back then, there were only a handful of villages in a general area and only so many people in said village. Now, we live in towns and cities with at least thousands of people.
The thought of being abandoned by your group is scary, sure. But, odds are you’re having anxiety over something that most likely will not happen. Almost all of these thoughts we have about imaginary nightmare scenarios never come to fruition.
So don’t worry, you can relax.
Why You Shouldn’t Worry
It is a common stoic belief that worrying about the things we cannot control is a waste of our precious time and energy. Some people will dislike you for reasons you can’t control.
They may be frustrated in their own lives.
They may be ignorant to many things.
Maybe your personalities just don’t mesh well.
What is the point in worrying about those things if you cannot control how people feel about you?
There isn’t a single person on this earth that is loved by everybody and disliked by nobody.
You are Unique
There is only one of you. Sure, we all want to be like others from time to time. It’s just how humans operate. When you’re in contact with someone for long enough, you start to mimic their mannerisms and other traits. So on a certain level, we can’t help it!
But, there is no point in worrying about what others think of you, instead try focusing on what YOU think about other people.
The person you are trying to impress or gain validation from – Do they even impress you? Do their values align with yours? These are important things to ask yourself.
Because it may not be worth your time anyway.