If They Do This, They Aren't Your Friends
Published May 14th, 2023 by Sabah V.
Sometimes we question if a friend truly cares for us or if they are just around for a good time. Whether it be a social event that you were not made aware of or a rumor that you caught wind of, this is a list of things that your real friends would never do to you.
1. They don’t make you feel included
Friends are supposed to have each other’s backs. If you have a real friendship with someone, you will never question whether or not they actually care about you.
It hurts sometimes to see your friends hanging out without inviting you. Don’t worry, a lot of times it isn’t personal – especially in larger friend groups.
But, if you have expressed wanting to do something and you are still left without an invitation, there may be more to be said about that.
When I was in high school, I wanted to fit in with this one group very badly. I was almost never invited unless every single person from our group was at an event. I knew deep down that they weren’t real friends that cared about me, but I wanted to fit in so badly and this was the source of a lot of my heart ache at that age. If you find yourself in this position, know your worth and find new friends.
2. They talk behind your back
It’s a harsh backstabbing feeling to hear that someone you considered a friend would say something hurtful behind your back. Don’t worry, it isn’t always bad. Here’s how you tell:
Did they say something behind your back that could be taken as a joke and that wasn’t truly personal? If so, you may have nothing to worry about. Sometimes guys poke fun at their friends, it could be harmless.
Did they say something that they knew you could take offense to, or that they wouldn’t have wanted getting out? If so, they are talking behind your back. You shouldn’t tolerate this.
3. They go after your ex partner
This one should be a no-brainer. If your friend goes behind your back to try and get with your ex partner, they are clearly not your friend.
I have seen this situation unfold in various friend groups. And although it may not be malicious on your friend’s part but instead a lack of self-control in the moment, why would you want somebody like that around you? Why would you want somebody to be your friend that has such little self-control?
This is one of the most devastating ways a friend can betray you. If this happens to you, walk away.
What should I do?
First and foremost, stay calm and collected. Being hurt can bring outrageous emotions out of us, but it is crucial we try our hardest to remain calm.
If it’s something like feeling left out, try to talk to your friend about it and see if they invite you around more. If not, there are so many people in this world to make friends with.
There is a reason why people say friends come and go, and that’s because a lot of times they do. Don’t be cynical and refuse to form a strong connection with someone, but if you lose a friend: just realize that there will be another one waiting around the corner.