Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules For Life Explained
Published June 22nd, 2023 by Sabah V.
Jordan Peterson is a Canadian Psychologist that has been getting widespread attention over the media in the past several years. You might’ve seen him in motivational videos and other self-help talks that are watched by millions. A couple years ago, he published a book where he establishes his 12 rules for sorting yourself out, setting your life in order, and improving the world. Let’s dive into each one of those rules.
Rule 1: Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
Suffering and dealing with setbacks and pain is part of being human. What makes all the difference is how we respond to suffering.
Peterson says, “The world is a hard place and a bitter place in many ways. And it’s touched with betrayal and malevolence. But there’s something in you that’s capable of taking that full on and transcending it.”
Stand up straight, look people in the eye, and don’t be scared to state your opinions. Also make sure you take care of your body by getting enough sleep and making sure you have a healthy diet. It will make you feel more physiologically stable.
Remember that circumstances can always change, and so can you. Create a positive feedback loop that gets you moving in the right direction.
Rule 2: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Would you say all the negative things you say to yourself to someone you were responsible for helping out? Probably not.
We all deserve respect. So start giving some to yourself. Recognize that you’re important to other people and God and have vital roles to play in the world. Keep the promises you make to yourself, and take accountability.
Rule 3: Make friends with people who want the best for you.
Be careful about “saving” others who have a victim mentality. Some people don’t actually want your help and need to fix themselves.
To reach your greatest potential as a human being, surround yourself with people who support you and those who want to grow.
Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone is today.
Being jealous of others will not get you very far. Nowadays with social media, it’s really easy to get into the mentality of comparing ourselves with all these people we see online.
Think about it this way, if you compare yourself to the top body builders you would feel pretty horrible about yourself, no matter how much work you were putting in everyday. But if you compared yourself to yourself yesterday, or a week ago, you would start to become incredibly proud of your progress.
Rule 5: Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
“More often than not, modern parents are simply paralyzed by the fear that they will no longer be liked or even loved by their children if they chastise them for any reason. They want their children’s friendship above all, and are willing to sacrifice respect to get it. This is not good. A child will have many friends, but only two parents (if that). Parents are more, not less than friends.” Peterson says.
“Friends have very limited authority to correct,” says Peterson, so it’s parents’ job to do the disciplining.
Although being tough on your own kids isn’t necessarily correct, know when to discipline your children when they break your rules.
Rule 6: Set your house in order before you criticize the world.
How can you criticize others if you’re worthy of criticism yourself?
We are all human and every one of us is a work in progress so do what you can to improve your life.
In Peterson’s words, “Don’t reorganize the state until you have ordered your own experience. Have some humility. If you cannot bring peace to your household, how dare you try to rule a city?”
“Intolerance of others’ views (no matter how ignorant or incoherent they may be) is not simply wrong; in a world where there is no right or wrong, it is worse: it is a sign you are embarrassingly unsophisticated or, possibly, dangerous.”
Rule 7: Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient.
Nowadays, everyone wants what is easy and brings riches, not what brings serenity to the soul. It’s easy to pursue instant gratification, but this is not a good long-term strategy for achieving happiness and contentment.
It is important to be willing to give up pleasurable and superficial things that would give you instant gratification in order to live a life of deeper meaning in the future.
Rule 8: Tell the truth, or at least don’t lie.
While telling the truth can sometimes be uncomfortable, it is important to recognize that it is a way to best serve others and yourself. Don’t lie to yourself and ideally do not lie to others. Be willing to face the truth and admit when you’re not acting according to your own standards.
Rule 9: Assume the person you are listening to knows something you don’t.
You will never know everything, so listen with open ears when speaking to others. Give them your full attention, be curious, and ask insightful questions.
Rule 10: Be precise in your speech.
Be specific when imagining your ideal life and placing standards in place that you want to uphold.
When you’re too vague with your goals, your boundaries can be easily crossed as well as making it easier for you to lose sight of what matters most. When your goals are specific and you have a plan in place, you hold yourself and others accountable.
Rule 11: Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.
Some people are bigger risk-takers than others. To optimize our lives, we need to be willing to do hard things and fail instead of remaining within our comfort zone forever. If we stay in the comfort zone, our lives can grow awfully boring.
We should take risks when necessary, because a life constantly surrounded by a safety net can take away from the experience of life as a whole.
Rule 12: Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.
Every single day you have the opportunity to make good things out of the ordinary. Concentrate on the good in front of you and the opportunities you have right now. Let go of what’s out of your control, and become comfortable with uncertainty.
Practice gratitude, even during hard times. Focus on what you’re fortunate to have, and seize opportunities that come your way.