Is Your Heart Broken Or Is It Just Your Ego?
Published March 13th, 2023 by Sabah V.
When we go through a breakup, we feel an odd range of emotions. Sometimes you feel angry, sometimes you feel sad, sometimes you still feel in love. But, overall you can feel very insecure. In order to heal properly it is important to ask yourself the question: Is my breakup more of a heartbreak or an egobreak?
Heartbreak vs Ego Break
Heartbreak: This is the feeling of loss, grief, and immense sadness in relation to someone you had an intimate connection with. Being heartbroken can bring about troubles with sleeping and eating. You will find that true heartbreak brings about a pain in your chest, where your heart is located.
Ego break: Instead of pain in your chest, ego breaks bring about feelings of shame, regret, and confusion. It causes damage to one’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth. An ego-break involves feelings of rejection, embarrassment, and disappointment.
Which Is Worse?
When someone is heartbroken, it may feel incredibly painful but that will subside with time and closure. Ego break is worse because it involves a need to deeply repair something that is damaged.
Individuals who are heartbroken may be incredibly sad, but their sense of worth is still intact for the most part. They are grieving a loss and missing the connection. For an ego break, it is fixated on a negative view of themselves and why they are not worthy. This leads to deep insecurity and resentment.
Dangers Of Ego Break?
Neediness: Individuals who have gone through an ego break have a tendency to become incredibly needy by creating unhealthy attachments and constantly seeking validation from others.
Defensiveness: You may find that these individuals become severely defensive. This is because their ego is broken, causing them to always feel as if they are threatened because their self-worth depends on how others evaluate them. They may constantly feel the need to prove something.
Confusion: When someone’s ego breaks, so does their entire belief-system, sense of identity and everything they thought to be true. It feels like everything around them has collapsed and been false all along, when they always saw certain things as true.
Resentment: Due to a bruised ego, it can feel incredibly harsh when someone rejects them as the need for validation from others is already high enough. Many people resent those who reject their offers for sex or relationships because it invalidates their ego. It can cause a feeling powerlessness and inferiority.
Curing Heartbreak vs Ego Break:
Heartbreak: Curing this involves looking outward. What about the relationship was flawed? What did you love about the person? What did you dislike about the person? This involves someone fully coming to terms with the idea that the relationship came to an end, understanding why it came to an end, learning what they can from the experience, and understanding that they will be loved again.
Ego break: Curing this involves looking inward. What makes you, you? What do you love to do? What are your attractive qualities? This involves someone completely understanding who they are as a person, and eventually accepting it as the beauty of their uniqueness. Sometimes when we lose a partner, our sense of validation leaves with them, so we must repair the good qualities that we see in ourselves.