The Dangerous Side of Antidepressants - SSRI's
Published January 29, 2023 by Sabah V.
In the early 21st century – prescribing antidepressants to treat mood disorders became very prevalent in American society. This new wave of science ended up in a lot of individuals being prescribed different types of medications to treat disorders relating to anxiety and depression. Today, I would like to talk about my personal story with them.
Why I got on antidepressants
I began taking antidepressants when I first turned 19. I had always struggled with anxiety, and was too stubborn to give therapy a real shot. I decided that maybe antidepressants would be the best route to take, I figured since it alters the chemicals in your brain that it would generally decrease my anxiety long term. I saw a psychiatrist to get started on the medication, and she was all for it. She never warned me about the side-effects.
Side Effects of SSRI’s
I was prescribed sertraline, which is an extension of Zoloft. My anxiety was definitely a lot less severe, but I never realized how hard the side effects were hitting me until I got off the medication years after. The two side effects I am going to talk about are listed as the two most common side effects of taking this particular SSRI:
Increased Aggression
During this time period, I was very quick to be aggressive to others and not think twice about it. I didn’t realize it in the moment, but I would pick fights with anyone that I felt was bothering or upsetting me. I would cause arguments for little to no reason with my roommates, and to this day I am ever so thankful that they stuck by my side and saw me for who I truly was deep down. I had burned some other bridges while in this mindset, and I know if I wasn’t on the medication, I would still have those connections to this day.
Suicidal Ideation
This is also listed as a major side effect of it. I would have rampant thoughts of my death, funerals, and mainly how I would be remembered. It was less of a sad thought and more of an obsession, and to this day (now that I am off them) I still cannot believe I used to think that way. You know when you have dreams where you’re going to die and you freak out and run away? During this time period I would embrace that death in my dream. Now that I am off of them, I once again scream and run away at the sign of death in my dreams.
Withdrawal Symptoms
I followed the exact instructions from my psychiatrist and still ended up with horrible withdrawal symptoms. I used to take 100 mg a day, eventually I decreased to 50, then 25, then 12.5, to finally 6.25. This was over the course of a couple months. Once I was fully off of them, I started to experience brain zaps. Anytime I moved my eyes or saw a bright light: my brain would shock itself so harshly that sometimes I would lose my footing and need to grab onto whatever was closest to me just to keep my balance.
This lasted for two weeks. I couldn’t attend classes, I always had to wear sunglasses or a hat with my brim really low and I was in a lot of pain. I was never told that this could happen to me.
I have been off sertraline for over 8 months now, and my anxiety is pretty much back to where it was before. The medication did not help me at all, and it caused me a lot of trouble and heart ache.
Disclaimer
You must follow the instructions of the medication as intended. I was still having alcohol here and there while on the medication, so that may have been why the medicine did not work on me long-term. If you are not planning on quitting your habits for a couple years while on this medication, I would strongly suggest therapy instead.