Why Is My Mind So Negative?
Published April 9th, 2023 by Sabah V.
You know that little voice in your head? The one that is constantly narrating your whole life for you? Do you ever stop to think if what it says is kind or detrimental to your well being?
Your Inner Roommate
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer brought this concept to my attention and it forever changed the way I view it.
We all have an inner roommate, but is your roommate helpful? You may think that this voice in your head is your own, but it’s not. You are just the one that notices it.
Research says that the vast majority of our thoughts are not positive ones, they are rather negative thoughts. If you watch the voice in your head objectively, you’ll come to see that not only is it mostly negative – what it has to say is rather meaningless.
Why Does This Happen?
The reason this voice is constantly giving us feedback is so that we feel more comfortable with the world around us. That voice in your head attempts to shift reality into a more controlled reality by giving things labels and predicting outcomes. But this can be very detrimental.
Instead of viewing the world outside of you, you end up experiencing a personal representation of the world with your mental model of reality.
Try This Important Exercise
Imagine this voice as your inner roommate, give them a physical form. Instead of viewing it as the voice in your head, view it as a real person sitting next to you saying all this stuff.
How long would it take before you get fed up with them and tell them to cut it out?
You’re sitting there watching TV and you see someone on the show that slightly resembles your ex partner for example. Your inner roommate starts filling your mind with doubts and insecurities, wondering what your ex is up to and imagining this perfect life they’re living without you.
Or use a career example. You hear your friend gets a brand new job that pays well while you’re unsatisfied. Your inner roommate starts feeding you monologue about how his life is great and yours is quite the opposite.
Would you tolerate someone sitting next to you and saying all this about you? No. You would feel offended and tell them to stop feeding you so much negative criticism and eventually distance yourself away from them.
So why do we give this inner roommate so much credit if we wouldn’t if it was another person?